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You're now in commentary . . . |
Topic: Unfriendly foreigners? Why?
I'm rather curious as to why there are seemingly a LOT of unfriendly foreigners here in Xiamen.
I've been here a while and it seems it's getting worse. Friends agree. Walk down a street, see a foreigner - watch foreigner cross road, look everywhere but at you. Smile at foreigner - get blank, cold response. I would say Xiada teachers are the WORST, with Xiada foreign students a close second. The businessmen are pretty laid back. Is it something to do with being on your high horse, and not wanting your bubble burst by the sight of other foreigners? This cliquish behaviour is a reminder of elementary schools days. Pathetic. Are you one of those miserable looking indiviuals? Are you one of those cold, unresponsive, head-up-ass foreigners? Do you think you're just that little bit better than the next cuz you've been here longer/speak better Chinese/have more connections/come from the Republic of Asshats? Pray tell.. 03 Dec 2009
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I agree with you and have heard others say the same thing. You would
think with such a small community it would be the opposite. Maybe, you need a lot like in Beijing where they seem much more friendly. I don't know. There is a friendly poker game in Xaimen though.
03 Dec 2009
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I agree too. I always try to make
eye-contact and at least smile, but get a cold reception too often. It almost makes me want to give up trying (but then I would become one of "them!"). Then today, in front of the train station, two laowai men caught my eye and said hello to me first...just have to keep trying, I guess. It takes very little effort to be friendly and possibly brighten someone's day...I know I can use some brightening some days!
03 Dec 2009
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I think it changed a lot over the years.
When I first came here you barely saw any foreigner, so everytime you ran into one, it resulted in a conversation about what you do in Xiamen.
03 Dec 2009
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@MNborn
When do you guys do poker nights ^_^ as for strange responses from foreigners, I don't get many different responses because they all just think i'm a local... hell even the locals think i'm a local :
03 Dec 2009
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Well then, let's have a National Smile To Another
Day. Bet it would go miles. I'm all for meeting and greeting, even if it's brief and on the street. I would really like to see some more 'luv', less hate/snottiness. Often when a smile is witheld, it's lurking behind the scowl..
04 Dec 2009
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^^^Y'all should change that or play a
second night! Never have time on sunday. Friday was good, why was it changed?
04 Dec 2009
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I find this post a bit bizarre. Do you
expect people to smile and say hello to every stranger on the street? Or do you expect one just because you are another foreigner? If I don't smile at you it is not because I don't like you, it's because I don't know you...
04 Dec 2009
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I?m a foreigner and have been here quite
a while. I?m probably one of the ones who don?t smile and "give a cold response". It?s because when you are being stared at all the time, when you eating, walking down the street or what ever you do, or people start talking to you because you?re a foreigner, even while you?re talking to someone right then, just because someone Chinese think it?s amusing to them or they want to try their English speaking, it certainly can get a bit annoying. (And it?s not like it?s ones or twice a day, but 5 - 10 times a day if you?re out and about!) In most of the countries in the west it?s considered plain rude. We?re taught not to "disturb" other people. As for childish behavior, isn?t it childish to just act without a second thought of the other person just because you want to be acknowledged? (What I really find childish is when grown up people point and shout Laowai....) All you want to do is go about your business and get from A - B, and do C - E, not having the least desire to talk, acknowledge or in any other way interact with ANYONE. Shouldn?t one be able to do that? Also, just because you see me, does?t mean I see you or your smile. I?m probably busy in my own mind. A smile is always nice, but as foreigners we always get comments (big nose, being tall, being overweight, etc etc( even get pointed at therefore we don?t always know if it?s a smile to you, or a "smile" at you. Hope this answers you question and explains some things about being a foreigner here, curiouspete. Consideration, to be considerate, word of the day! :-)
04 Dec 2009
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"In most of the countries in the west
it?s considered plain rude. We?re taught not to "disturb" other people." This AIN'T the west! Don't like it? LEAVE! It's part of the the culture here. "What I really find childish is when grown up people point and shout Laowai" What I find childish is expats who come to China and expect the culture to be like their's and when it isn't, *****. There are plenty of things I myself don't like seeing Chinese do. But guess what? It's THEIR country. We should not bring our value's here and expect them to follow us. How utterly full of yourself to do that!! I rather enjoy most of the friendly Chinese wanting to talk as apposed to most Eastern Europeans who walk up to you to try and scam you or Japanese who ignore you or American's who want to rob you. As for wanting a smile from someone who looks more like where you come from? I think that's just natural human behavior to want to connect with the familiar. BTW, Carlito, not enough people came on Friday to continue.
05 Dec 2009
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sounds to me that curious pete had a bad day and
needs to vent, if u r that unhappy here then I suggest a trip to a place without cliques, where everybody looks at each other, smiles and says hi. its called, oh wait... this place doesnt exist...yet
05 Dec 2009
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Unfriendly Foreigners:
Instead of stating the obvious, i.e. Every Country, Culture, Race, Nationality can't have everyone happy 100% of the time 100% of the day I think we can just come down to one simple saying. **** Happens. If you are Chinese or Foreigner it doesn't matter, people get depressed or have bad days, that's life. However, I would like to say that "Unfriendly Foreigners" is a what you could maybe call a phenomena if you consider Pete's observation but probably more probably charachterized as phases in people's intercultural development. For a good model of intercultural development Milton Bennett's is a good one for reference. Follow the link for a PDF http://www.google.com/url? q=http://www.library.wisc.edu/EDVRC/docs/public/pdfs/ SEEDReadings/intCulSens.pdf&ei=DooaS9PiB5WXkQXU67TgAw &sa=X&oi=spellmeleon_result&resnum=1&ct=result&ved=0C AcQhgIwAA&usg=AFQjCNFYyYKOJTal7sODvD9OgEnYd-3QqA
06 Dec 2009
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We are how we are brought up, we?re
certainly not expecting this to be like the west, we?re not that stupid. It?s more that we just want to be left alone, not this big hullabaloo about how we look or just that we are foreigners as soon as we?re out somewhere. If you GIVE something (a smile ) to someone then you can?t EXPECT something back (a smile ), then it isn?t giving, is it? That?s trading and you involve the person in it without out their consent, right? So why don?t you go about and smile all you want, and I?ll go about my business the same, haobuhao ? Good point robertmorrison, que sera sera
07 Dec 2009
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Quote: "So why don't you go about and smile all
you want, and I'll go about my business the same, haobuhao?" Sounds rather isolative to me. Have it your way. I'll put you in the group of 'non-smilers'. I know there are cliques. And I know there are lonely, isolated people here. I don't concentrate my energy on one group of people, but rather move between groups, as it suits me. I actually try to balance my friends out in a 50-50 split between locals and foreigners. Works well for me. Eggs in one basket and all that.. And yes, I maintain that the foreigners here, generally are less friendly than people back home (and I come from a tough city). They're also less friendly than other expat communities I've lived in around the world. Straight up - not having a bad hair day, ben-boy.
07 Dec 2009
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Let me say first of all that I love
living in China - an amazing experience to be sure. Mind you, Maju1 does have a point. We've all had people stare and point at us and say 'laowai'. And we've probably all had someone come up to us to practice their English when we'd rather be left alone. The way, I see it is it's a small price to pay for living in such a fascinating country.
08 Dec 2009
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It's a tough city, Carlito. As tough as Mexico City,
or tougher. We work hard, we fight hard, we die hard. But we smile doing it. No worries fellow foreigners, I find the good in you, always.
11 Dec 2009
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